She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I CAN MOONWALK!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We're too hungover to prance.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
