This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
