Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
