I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
