The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
