I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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