i just made my gag reflex go away.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
