I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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