Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
