I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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