you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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