Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
