I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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