I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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