the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
