you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
