textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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