We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
