It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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