you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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