is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
