I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
