Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
