Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
