if you like me you must not know who I am
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
