Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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