I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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