so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
