So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
