And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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