She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
