We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
