dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
