I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
