How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
