hotel room ftw
I didn't shave. On purpose
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
