i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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