you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
