i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
