Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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