The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
