I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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