do herpes really smell.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
