Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
