a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
