Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I party with great urgency now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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