it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
