its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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