I have demons in me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
