You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
