Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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