Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
