I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
