great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
