I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
