If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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