i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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