Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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